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The early afternoon sun shone into the room, filling it quickly
with warmth. Outside it was getting hot, almost too hot to open
a window, but she did anyway. Daniella rested her soft face between
the wooden frame of the window and the outside edge of the house,
deeply breathing the warm air in and out of her lungs. The mercury
was approaching the 90-degree mark that day, hot enough to have
difficulty breathing, but inside was the more suffocating of the
two.
Michael
had told her of the news about his restaurant earlier that morning
before leaving the house, and something about "making some
serious changes around here" as well. He was right about
that, she had thought to herself after he walked out. Namely,
she needed to pick up her life and make a new one somewhere else,
a life far different and far away from her current one. Perhaps
she could move to Florida or California; wherever she went it
would not matter. Anywhere would be fine with her. Hell, maybe
even New Orleans.
Ah,
New Orleans-just the thought of that magical town brought a smile
to her face. That, and all the memories she and a certain handsome
stranger had made on one glorious night. It was hard to believe
that she had met Sean almost two months ago, yet the outline of
his sweet face was still fresh in her mind, not to mention the
way his hands had felt as he'd explored every inch of her body.
These
thoughts left a bittersweet taste in Daniella's mouth and as reliving
these types of memories often did, she sat on the window ledge,
laughing and crying at the same time.
She
felt foolish, crying over a man she had known in person not even
twelve hours, but what a wonderful twelve hours they had been.
As crazy as it sounded, she felt a love for him, one that made
no sense and perfect sense all at the same time. It was definitely
a feeling she'd never had with Michael. She regretted not being
there by his side, where she should be, instead of here behind
a locked door in a Cincinnati suburb. Alas, Daniella was simply
a mere mortal, and since the infamous apple bite in the Garden
of Eden, mortals were predestined to make mistakes. This, of course,
was a BIG mistake.
Who
knows why she had left the way she had? Maybe she'd been scared
or in shock. More than likely it had been a little of both. Certainly
meeting Sean hadn't been on her "to do" list while in
New Orleans, nor had falling head-over-heels for him. All she
had wanted to do was get some well-needed rest, party a little
bit, and stuff her belly with some great-tasting food that was
horribly bad for her waistline. What's done is done, though, she
realized, and there ain't no going back, no matter how much pining
you can do for him.
The
day had started out like all the rest for Daniella, but when the
afternoon came, it brought with it a desire to do some
soul-searching. Not the typical "my life has no direction,
I need to think" sort of stuff, but the kind one can only
find in the peaceful sanctuary of a church.
After
an exhausting tug-of-war with Max (who was in charge of keeping
an eye on her for the day), she was finally granted permission
to go to the church-as long as the driver did not let her out
of his sight. So, off to the church they went.
Daniella
regretted sleeping in those countless Sundays in the past, neither
having the desire nor energy to get up and drag her tired body
to Mass. It had been many months since Daniella had in fact attended
Mass, and except for major holidays such as Easter and Christmas,
she had rarely seen the inside of a church for the better part
of two years. This fact was one she was not proud of, and her
guilt only escalated in the presence of her deeply religious mother,
whom Daniella, at a young age, had learned that lying to was not
an easy thing to get away with. Even in her twenties, Daniella
knew better that "you can shuck some people all of the time,
and all of the people some of the time, but you can't shuck your
mama!" Growing up, Daniella's mother, a devout Catholic,
had taken her to church at Immaculata in Mt. Adams every Sunday,
on weekday mornings when school hadn't been in session, and especially
on Good Friday, where she and the rest of the faithful would trod
up the three hundred and fifty-six steps that led up to the church,
kneeling on every step to pray a rosary for their sins.
The
driver stopped the car and let Daniella out directly in front
of the church, then watched her carefully as she entered through
the large wooden doors.
Inside,
Daniella was alone-exactly how she liked it. In her opinion, whenever
she decided to go to pray, she expected peace and quiet. Otherwise,
her ability to concentrate was lost. She walked softly up the
aisle, looking at the Stations of the Cross as she went. They
were large and mostly made of painted wood with beautiful carvings
throughout them, and although there were no words, each one told
a story all its own. The smell of burning incense lingered heavily
in the air, giving Daniella a calming and nostalgic feeling. There
were times where certain memories (some better than others) were
triggered by tastes or smells or things even seen, and acted as
catalysts for generating the reproduction of images a long time
forgotten. In the case of Daniella, the powerful, sweet scent
of frankincense and myrrh stirred up memories of her kneeling
in candlelit cathedrals, dressed up in her Sunday baby-blue taffeta
dress with matching shoes, her Raggedy Ann doll in tow.
Daniella
knelt down in a middle pew and began to pray. She initially winced
at the hardness of the wooden kneeler as it pressed against her
delicate knees. Even though it had been a long time since she
had knelt to pray, inside the church that day it felt natural
and peaceful and nostalgic.
That
afternoon, Daniella prayed harder and more passionately than she
had in a very long time-longer than she would for the rest of
her life.
In
all her erratic, emotional roller coaster ride of a life, Daniella
had never felt a greater sense of peace than she felt that day.
Her troubles were still there, or at least they were waiting for
her on the other side of the church's heavy wooden doors, but
at least for now she felt safe. In a way, she had felt like this
when she had been around Sean.
Daniella
prayed for answers and for hope. She asked God to give her a sign,
a sign that showed what she was doing wasn't all in vain. More
than anything, she prayed that Sean forgave her, and through this
huge mess he could somehow be happy. Deep down inside, she wished
God would somehow deliver her from this madness, that He would
bring her and Sean together again, and this time for good, and
that she could be strong enough to free herself from Michael.
Deep down inside she asked for all these things, but for some
reason never spoke them aloud. Little did Daniella know that fate
or God or the cosmos or however one might choose to describe it,
was already listening and hearing her silent pleas, her unexpressed
pain, and was already making one of her prayers come true.
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